Keeping An Open Mind

Often times it’s hard to be open to new people after ending a relationship of some kind.  Try not to burn bridges but it’s difficult to maintain a friendship after feelings are involved.  That being said, it’s difficult to tell yourself that you’re ready for something else.  Yes, it is scary to date and we all fear rejection with the added fact that you don’t want to come off as desperate.  There’s a happy medium between both though and you want to go and find that.  Where you’re neither desperate nor are you too cut off to the idea of finding someone.

The bottom-line is that you should always keep an open mind because you never know when that right person will suddenly walk into your life.  You’ll never know when this will happen but it will once everything has been sorted out.  Life is full of ups and downs but it’s best to sit back and enjoy the ride instead of question each of its many turns.

So how would you do this?

1) Go out there and just discover yourself!

2) If you expect someone to give you a chance then you’ll have to be willing to do the same for others.

3) Go out there and do something if you have to.  You won’t meet someone magically at home on your computer all the time.

Let’s take it into the “friendzone”

We’ve all had that one friend we wished were more than a friend.  How do we approach this? If you make a move but they’re not receptive then it could end a friendship and divide the group.  Of course, if you’re already friends then a lot of the difficulty is taken out of dating since odds are they have a deep understanding of who you are as a person.

What are some signs that you could take this out of the friendzone?It’s simple, they’ll most likely show all the signs of interest but they’ll be all the more subtle.  If you really want help with this then why not tell a mutual friend that is able to observe your interactions?  The person of interest would most likely pay more attention to you and try to include whenever possible.  They crave for your attention and anything you post they’ll most likely like or comment because it wouldn’t seem unusual if they didn’t like you.  But, we know differently.  They are most likely caught up on your personal life and remember something random you might’ve said.

Overall, the signs are no different but you really need to be receptive to them.

“No Contact”

There’s always those couples that get back together even though their relationship is less than perfect.  At first it’s like they’re the picture of love and then they begin to fight about little things then once again they break up.  The reason behind this is simple, they can’t stand being alone.  To have to go through their daily lives without someone totally willing to hear every little detail.  Yes, it’s not easy to be single but once you’ve been single for a while and you’ve become accustomed to it then you begin to grow as a person.

Now, that being said, there’s always that one person that got away or someone that you wish you could have gotten with or maybe you wish to get back with.  Say you wanted to get back with said person so how would you try to do that?  What the previously mentioned couples employ is called “no contact”.  Once they break up they go through a period where they simply make no attempt at contacting one another.  “No contact” is great if you can somehow still be connected just not in direct contact with them.

Just go about your own thing and show that you’re alright without them then someday down the line you can throw them a bone and contact them.  This has the possibility of growing into more but the bottom-line is that you should really find yourself in all of this and not go back to an ex or past love.  Odds are that you’ve changed and so have your tastes.  Try and find someone new if at all possible but if you don’t want that then “no contact” is the way to go.

Mind Games

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These two words can sum up a variety of things. When it comes to relationships and potential partners, these two words are more than likely put into play somehow. Sometimes mind games are used to help enhance the situation and to make your potential lover think of you, but they also come at a risk if not done right. Let’s take a look at some of the potential things that can be considered mind games:

Facebook Mind Games: Crazy isn’t it? Likes on statuses or pictures, random messages or wallposts, holiday greetings, happy birthday greetings, you name it. 

Text Messaging Mind Games: Mind games can happen over text. Some of them include taking longer than normal to reply to a text, no response to a text, or even something as silly as a random text to the “wrong” person. 

In Person Mind Games: No eye contact? No contact when you see each other? Random Flirting? It can be harder to figure out what mind games come into play in person, but you have to be on your guard at all times.

Mind games are always going to be subject that will be brought up when you are in the process of going out with someone or even breaking up. It just depends on how you handle the unique situations you are put in. 

The best laid plans of mice and men

For those of you not familiar with the novel “Of Mice and Men” it basically follows the life of two homeless men just trying to make ends meet but no matter what their plans fall through.  This is true for over-thinking when dating.  It’s difficult to admit but we all get lonely at times and we long for someone.  However, to let this emotion permeate and cloud your judgement that’s when you’ll make mistakes.

Basically, don’t plan for every little detail and just let life take it’s course.  Too often dating advice may seem like it’s telling you to take the initiative and aggressively seek out a partner.  Take a deep breath and just relax.  Finding your own internal happiness will actually lead to be being happier with someone later down the line.

One doesn’t step into love but rather you fall (hard).  Just wait because one day you’ll look back and admit that you enjoyed the ride.Image

Would you like to continue your game?

Undoubtedly the most difficult part of dating is trying to find someone new.  Depending on how much that person meant to you, you may have a more difficult time doing so.  Everyone has emotions and if you invest enough time in someone then it’s understandable that you’d get attached at some point.  So you probably find yourself staring off a lot and just contemplating everything but that’s the complete opposite of what you should be doing.  Stay out of your head and keep busy!  Overtime it will get easier for you to keep your mind off of it but it’s just too fresh in your mind to do that within a few days, a week, or maybe even longer.

So here’s some tips on starting over:

1) Just get out there! Do something and meet new people!  Don’t sit at home and feel sorry for yourself.

2) Don’t be in a rush to start something new.  Take comfort in those around you and realize that you are a great person in your own way.  You shouldn’t just throw yourself at people just because you think there’s a slim chance that you could charm them.

3) Take a deep breath and just chill.  You’re probably going over why it went wrong.  What you did, why it turned out this way but these are all trivial.  Just keep moving forward and it’ll happen eventually.  Nothing in adult-life comes easy so why should this?

Remember, just relax! Don’t worry about your age since it’s just a number.  You will find someone not when you want one but when the situation is right for you to find someone.

Being desperate vs. Being open-minded

Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day and if you’re reading this then you’re probably in that boat of people who are just trying to find that special someone.  Don’t worry because you got another 364 days until the next year.  But an important question is the difference between being open-minded to people who pique your interests and desperate.  Let’s face facts, finding that perfect someone is nearly impossible in the first few tries so you’ll probably have to compromise in some aspect.  However, don’t settle for someone that you would normally not find attractive if they didn’t show interest in you.

Yes, there are plenty of fish in the sea but it’s tiring to always here that and with the solution to “love” being a click away it’s difficult to truly get a grasp of how you feel about someone.  You’re bombarded with friends telling you that you should do this and that, not to text immediately, what that gentle touch on the shoulder meant.  What you need to do is just sit back and take into account of what you’re being told but that doesn’t mean you should compromise your decisions.

So, how can you not be desperate? Here are a few tips:

1) In Pursuit of Happiness: Happier people tend to find better relationships because things always happen when they’re meant to happen, not when you want them to happen.

2) Doing your own thing: If you’re moving around your day just for this one person then you’re not truly living.  You’re working too hard and you just need to relax.  Find a hobby or anything to keep you busy.

3) Always improve yourself: If you look in the mirror and find yourself unhappy about something then why not try to change what you’re unhappy about?  This doesn’t mean go get plastic surgery but instead why not go for a run instead of watch tv?  Grab a water instead of a soda.  Your lifestyle habits can influence your mood and there in turn your outlook on life.

Nothing comes without a little risk.

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